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Death Row - Draft 4 by Sarah Newman, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 30 Jun '16 18:23

Two inmates on death row are left to wonder what’s going on.

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Producers' notes

This is a nice exploration of friendship between inmates, and the idea that we are more than the sum of our actions.

  • Cut the line “The Big Jab” as this is unnecessary.
  • The second page needs reworking to get across the jeopardy and empathy, and we felt that a lot of the dialogue could be reworked.
  • Cut the reference to the pink blanket as we feel that this is misleading and odd.
  • Perhaps Bishop should initially point a gun at Johnnie, considering whether to kill him, only to be talked down by Roy?
  • Can there be a moment of choice for Roy? He has a clear exit but will leave an old companion alone? The choice is the drama.
  • Start and end with a narrative focus on the magazine, to emphasise the choice Roy has made to stay with Johnnie.

Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. Great work, well done!

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Death Row - Draft 3 by Sarah Newman, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 04 Jan '16 19:47

Two inmates on death row are left to wonder what’s going on.

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Death Row - Draft 2 by Sarah Newman, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 28 Sep '15 17:21

Two inmates on death row are left to wonder what’s going on.

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The draft below is now closed for feedback.

Please read and review the latest draft above.

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This project is now open for Production.

Death Row - Draft 1 by Sarah Newman, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 16 Sep '15 15:25 @SarahAlexis4

Two inmates on death row are left to wonder what’s going on.

Download Read Online | Share this on 32 linkedin