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Pluto - Draft 4 by Simon Thomas, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 01 Jul '16 17:02

Oblivion awaits. The earth has one hope: Charlie's pet dog, Pluto.

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Producers' notes

This has some lovely gentle humour in, and the ending is a nice pay-off.

  • We were not sure about the internal logic of the story. Is the machine a “teleporter” or “time machine”? If Charlie’s Dad is dead (which we assume he is), would it make more sense for the machine to be a time machine, the idea being that Pluto is carrying a warning back (to a time when Charlie’s Dad is alive), which mankind will then be able to act upon? If this is not what was envisaged, then leave as is, although you may want to consider adding an extra line to explain why Charlie thinks his Dad is on another planet. 
  • Trim and tighten.

Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. This has a nice fairy-tale vibe to it. Nice work, Simon.

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Pluto - Draft 3 by Simon Thomas, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 28 Dec '15 21:14

Oblivion awaits. The earth has one hope: Charlie's pet dog, Pluto.

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Pluto - Draft 2 by Simon Thomas, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 28 Nov '15 21:57

Oblivion awaits. The earth has one hope: Charlie's pet dog, Pluto.

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Pluto - Draft 1 by Simon Thomas, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 27 Nov '15 21:49 @somanysimons

Oblivion awaits. The earth has one hope: Charlie's pet dog, Pluto.

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