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Tell me You'll Miss Me - Draft 1
written for The Impact:50,
uploaded 31 Dec '15 19:17
Sarah wouldn't dream of letting anything stop her from spending her final hours on earth with her widowed mother... would she?
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This was a very well-crafted script, with a real sucker punch twist at the end.
- We felt that the scene in the communal stairwell was unnecessary and confusing and recommend that this be cut.
- We wondered whether you had perhaps missed a trick, and think you should consider having her dad on his own in the flat in the dream scene. Then, when Sarah asks him what he is doing there, and where her mum is, he can respond: “She’ll be here soon.”
Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. Great work, John!