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Feedback 6022b44c57f50d4bb753de7b1acafc8885ca6f00632ac4d25cffa937d03bf359
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Justice - Draft 4 by Keith Watson, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 30 Jul '16 10:58

A Detective uses the end of the world to get his final Justice against a master criminal.

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Producers' notes

We really enjoyed this revenge story, and think it offers a nice contrast to the (understandably) more sentimental scripts.

  • Our main note is that at the moment the script feels a bit too much like e.g. Gotham, and we would like to see the genre elements – for example, the Armani suit and gold watch, the murder board, the scream of fury – removed, and for there to be more emotional truth.
  • Following on from the previous point, check character actions and reactions for authenticity. Would Dave grin at a time like this? We imagine he would much more likely be solemn.

Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. Great work, Keith!

The draft below is now closed for feedback.

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Justice - Draft 3 by Keith Watson, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 03 Jul '16 16:39

A Detective uses the end of the world to get his final Justice against a master criminal.

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The draft below is now closed for feedback.

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Justice - Draft 2 by Keith Watson, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 04 Jan '16 20:05

A Detective uses the end of the world to get his final Justice against a master criminal.

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The draft below is now closed for feedback.

Please read and review the latest draft above.

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This project is now open for Production.

Justice - Draft 1 by Keith Watson, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 02 Jan '16 19:58

A Detective uses the end of the world to get his final Justice against a master criminal.

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