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Pizza - Draft 3 by David Toms, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 21 Jun '16 11:18

Contained in a metal cash box, is a snapshot of three friends just before the end of the world.

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Producers' notes

This is a sweet story that explores the very human desire to leave some mark on the world.

  • Instead of showing what Louis is writing, we think the script could work better if you show them all writing and then sharing what they wrote (in a phrase or two). The others can have written about more serious things, and when Louis tells them he wrote about pizza, they may be bemused initially, causing him to go into it in more detail.
  • We weren’t sure about the polaroid camera as this is not commonly used these days, especially not by youngsters. Consider having them use their phones instead. That said, it’s a movie and we would most likely go along with a Polaroid.
  • We felt that the story should end with the parents, mirroring the start where kids have returned to families. An additional beat of humour could be added by having them making Louis pizza.

Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. Well done, David!

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Pizza - Draft 2 by David Toms, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 06 Jan '16 21:03

Contained in a metal cash box, is a snapshot of three friends just before the end of the world.

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The draft below is now closed for feedback.

Please read and review the latest draft above.

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Pizza - Draft 1 by David Toms, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 04 Jan '16 19:30 @davidtoms

Contained in a metal cash box, is a snapshot of three friends just before the end of the world.

Download Read Online | Share this on 32 linkedin