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This project is now open for Production.

I.R.L. - Draft 2 by Liz Holliday, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 08 Jan '16 00:52

Who needs IRL friends, when there's a whole world out there on-line? But when that world goes away...

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Producers' notes

 

This script presents a good change of pace, and has a nice concept at its core.

  • Remove the nationalities and other unnecessary limiting descriptions of characters, to open them up to all actors.
  • Consider removing slang which may be confusing, for example “Occupy” and “flipside”.
  • We were confused by Max’s conversation with Dougal, so consider rewriting this.
  • We think Jenna should try to engage with Max after she has entered the room and sat down. He can then ignore her until the power outs, at which point he finally has to be present in real life, and not just online.
  • Check certain of the characters’ reactions - for example, Jenna’s tentative smile - for authenticity.

Remember to write a line with a CUT TO: For when the blast wave hits them. Well done, Liz!

The draft below is now closed for feedback.

Please read and review the latest draft above.

Normal liz holliday headshot

This project is now open for Production.

I.R.L. - Draft 1 by Liz Holliday, written for The Impact:50, uploaded 07 Jan '16 22:18 @liz_holliday

Who needs IRL friends, when there's a whole world out there on-line? But when that world goes away...

Download Read Online | Share this on 32 linkedin